Dumb Refrigerator.

I come up with all my ideas sporadically. In the shower, right before I fall asleep, when I’m eating, every other time than when I sit down at my computer and actually want to write something.
Happens to everyone.

Is it weird that I’m never the same person each week?
Or is that how every teenager is? Trying on a new skin every couple of days, switching from this to that, their view points from here to there.
Is that… normal?
What I do know is that everyone has a double layer. No one is actually as they appear to be. We all have facades. The person we are at home is not the same person we are at school, or around friends or around our significant other. Everyone has some curtain of artificial nothings in front of them. That’s because we could not bear to show our true identities at first glance. To just put our soul on a platter and have anyone dissect it is absurd.
The truth is, no one wants to show their true selves to just anybody. The curtain only starts to open when you build a special relationship with that person. If you’re lucky.
It’s like we're turtles or something.

No one has just one person inside them. No one way of seeing things. We have tons. It’s just a matter of finding them. Saying you’re just one person, one mind, is simply ridiculous.
Then again, maybe I’m just crazy.

I'll tell you two of the sides I have. There’s the Davina who says "screw it" to everything and does what she wants for the hell of it, and the Davina who actually thinks for herself and balances out consequences.
Haven’t seen her in a while. The side I’m usually overcome by is the side that does not believe in morals or feelings. The side that wants to live in the moment and say "I’m 16 let me live!" the side that throws her hands up and says "I give up. I’ll do what I like and no one can say anything."
I’m sure I have more sides to me. Those are probably just the only two I notice.
Everyone has at least one different side to them.
No person is simply one dimensional, that’s impossible. To begin with, we all have the good and bad side. We're born with it. Ever since we were tiny beings we had these two voices. Whether it had to do with taking cookies out of the jar or going into mommy's room to try on her heels.
That’s how the little angel and demon on the shoulder came to be.
We all have that voice that just says "come on do it. Why not? It’ll be fun." and the other that argues "don’t do it, you’ll pay for it."
Who do you think adolescents listen to?

Like I said, we love a stirrup. Sometimes we complicate our lives just to complicate them. We add excitement because there isn’t enough. Even if it does mean hurting someone. And as generous as we like to think we are, we're quite selfish.
Maybe not for everything, but we are when it comes to feelings we definitely are. We always want emotional satisfaction. Whether its love, excitement, or sadness, we'll do anything to get it. And it’s always the best pleasure when it’s received.
That’s what she said.

What’s weird is that we always want to see our significant other get emotional. We absolutely hate seeing that wall, that shrug when we ask what’s wrong. That “nothing, everything’s fine.”
As much as we call them pussies for expressing themselves, that’s all we really want.
Just for them to tell us why the hell they're not talking or smiling as much.
Come on guys, we always know when something's wrong.
We just want you to break down at least once and pour out your feelings.
And we want it because – of course- we cannot have it.
I don’t know about you, but if a guy was emotional all the time I’d be sick of him.
Only women have that right. Cause we just do. That’s our excuse. We’re on our period, or having a bad day, or someone said something that upset us.
I think it’s the estrogen.
Guys, you know what I’m talking about. And don’t worry; we are aware that our excessive overly emotional rampages can be bitches. But hey, what can you do?
Ehh that’s how everyone is. Moodiness is yet another side effect of the never ending doses of hormones we receive.

I mean we never get what we want right? Our lives are just a swirl of repeating bad luck and boring nothingness.
This is the one thing we have control over; receiving emotional satisfaction.
Relationships getting uninteresting? Threaten a breakup. Anything to stir up commotion or have that exhilarating feeling in your stomach.
Now im not condoning cheating or anything like that. However that is the case when people do cheat; they’re just bored with their spouses. They want the thrill of having an affair. Im sure if they weren’t married or together with someone than it wouldn’t be nearly as great as it is when they are.
I mean would candy be as good if it didn’t give you pimples or make you fat or give you tummy aches? Of course not.
They see that one guy who winks at them and I think you know where everything goes from there.
It’s like eve and that damn tree.
Temptation.
Don’t cheat. It’s stupid. I know you want the same excitement you see on Gossip Girl and all those shows but this is real life; and in real life there are consequences. Life isn’t some scripted drama. It’s not like your fate relies on the writer's input. You choose your own. And in the real world, people love to talk and brand and hate. And something called “guilt” exists. So when you see the bottle headed blondes do it on TV, and get away with it with a hair flip and a wink, you should never take that as a reason to do it.

Eh who am I to tell you what to do?
Do what you want. Live!
…There she is again.


Morals are weird. The strange part is some people don’t have any. Like serial killers or sexual predators. Morals stop us from doing things that we'll regret. Things that society finds "wrong".
Do we even know what’s right and what’s wrong? How do we know? Is it because of the Ten Commandments or because we all decided that doing a certain thing is not accepted?
Getting good grades and going to a great school is accepted. Being a failure isn’t. And we use such cut throat words that penetrate and leave that person feeling ashamed for being different or not as good as society needs them to be. I mean what’s a failure anyway? It’s what we made it up to be. Someone who can’t live up to society's expectations. The expectations we made up.
Society's messed up anyway. All they care about is money. Money this money that, need more money, don’t have enough money, spend more money. It’s dumb.
But I’ve already had a rant about money. Let’s not re-live it.

Let’s see, what else to talk about.

Compliments are fun. Especially when you’re the one receiving them. That’s pretty much one of the things that could make our day. Even a simple “you look cute today” could flip your energy around and make you a chipper person. Compliments are the most effective when they’re given by people you don’t even know. Just a complete stranger coming up to you or telling you via Facebook that you’re beautiful, pretty much makes your month. It’s not only girls, I’m sure. Guys love compliments. After all, they’re human too. But they never show it.

What I don’t like is the mentality here in America.
Yes. I’m going there.
What I’ve noticed here is that most, not all, hot guys or “sexy” or whatever you’d like to call them, are cocky or…just douches. And I’m not blaming them entirely, I’m blaming the girls.
I think it might be because there are very few gorgeous guys here. And the few know they are hot, because of the many compliments they receive, and the obnoxious flirting given from girls around them.
Hey, we’re teenagers we have raging hormones. Everyone’s been guilty of extreme flirting.
Compliments + hot guy + girls all over guy = big head.
Hell anyone would become like that. I’m sure there are many girls like that too.
The weird thing is, I never saw that in Europe.
Probably because there are beautiful guys and girls everywhere. I think they might think that it’s normal to be good looking. So when you take away the girls all over him and the excessive amounts of compliments, you just have a normal guy.
Then again it’s a completely different culture.
No, I’m not saying America sucks and Europe’s better. It’s just something I’ve observed. And yes, I’ve met gorgeous guys here that have been genuinely nice, and gorgeous guys in France who have complete douche bags. It happens.

Culture is something that can make you who are you are. I don’t know about you, but my roots have affected the way I’ve been brought up and how I’ve been educated. I’m educated like a French girl, but being raised in America, I definitely don’t act like one. Which is pretty obvious why.
But what’s weird is that even though I was born and raised here, I still don’t know what certain expressions or words mean. I’m sure everyone with non-American parents can relate. Whether they’re Spanish, Italian, French, Chinese, Israeli, we never fully get one language down. That’s one disadvantage. We could have tons that we speak, but one can never be completely perfected.
Eh, who cares? Languages are dumb. Why can’t we all just speak one?
I think it’s so no one can understand the other’s secrets. Unless they take the time to learn it. But come on, who’s gonna do that?
Italian’s such a pretty language. I wish I could speak that.
What’s funny is that not many people think the language they speak is the prettiest, or the best.

We should have a button that automatically programs things we want to know into our brain.
Eh, who am I kidding, that’s probably the worst idea.
Cause every computer nerd in the world will program “world domination” before anything else. Then we’d be screwed.
Another Fail brought to you by technology.

What I don’t get is why we don’t use it for anything remotely productive. All you hear about is new phones and new computers and refrigerators with TV’s on them.
…Honestly? Who’s gonna need that?
Why can’t we invent machines that distribute food to starving people in Africa?
Or water dispensers that take rain water and filter it for people in India who cannot afford it?
Or how about, I don’t know, blanket makers, for people who sleep on the sidewalk in the freezing cold?
It’s like technology only cares about the people who can afford it.
Or how about they stop making everything so machine oriented so people can find jobs?

But no, nobody cares about that stuff. They don’t pay attention to the starving children, or the freezing homeless, or the unemployed single mothers.
Instead they’ll just sip a cup of warm coffee and cuddle with a blanket while watching a news reporter talk about it on their refrigerator.