Remember Me?

Crash, I wanna fall, I wanna be somewhere in the middle with you.

Where would we be without our memories?
Without those things that happened in the past that made us smile, laugh, regret, think.

A lot of people say that the past doesn’t matter, that it shouldn’t determine a person’s identity.
They try to convince themselves that the past is simply just…stuff that happened, and it does not make you who you are today. They believe that you make yourself who you are and that it should simply be ignored. What matters is now, right?

But how can we just ignore it when it really does define who we are?

We all know experience builds character.
If our minds were erased every few days, we would never be the same person.
Or really a person for that matter.

I say our past is everything. Every little thing we’ve experienced has contributed to the forming of who we are.
It makes no sense to forget, or obliterate it.
We use it to learn, grow…so why are we always told to move on, and erase it from our minds?
Is it out of fear?
Is it because we are told to never “dwell” or “linger” on events that aren’t relevant to the present?


I mean, if the past makes us who we are, there really should be no reason to just put a giant slab of whiteout over it.
We should use it to our advantage. To figure out why we work the way we do, and how to keep the past...the past. To make sure it doesn't repeat itself.

To just erase it from our minds and say “it never happened?”
Come on, does that really solve anything?
Our brain is carefully crafted.
There’s a compartment for everything.

You can’t just choose a file to delete and think that everything’s peachy keen.
Our minds store memories for a reason, in order to wake up the next day and remember who we are, what our address is, what our phone number is, etc.

Because without our memories our identity is pretty much just the blank space under the “Hello My Name Is”.

It’s up to us to remember enough to fill it up.
To remember who we are, where we come from, and why we are the way we are, why we do the things we do.
What makes us unique, weird, normal, funny, serious.
That’s all determined by what we’ve been through and what we’ve seen.
With our experiences, our scars, and our joyful recollections.


Crash, fall, I like it; I like it, somewhere in the middle with you.

You Smell...

Anniversaries are weird when we're young. You know, like two month, five month ones. It makes a relationship sound like...a battle with cancer or something.
"I did it!"
Like it's some kind of acheivement, a struggle that you overcame.
Doesn't that sound weird?
I mean it automatically sets a relationship up to be something that must be "hard" and "stressful" in our minds if we have to celebrate every few months we survive it. 

After all, people run away from relationships because they want to, "have fun" and "live". 
...It sounds like a relationship is some kind of death sentence to me.
And I don't blame em. At our age it's necessary to explore. Experiencing everything possible is essential to our lives. It's healthy.

Because once we get married- that's it. We're set for life. No more checking out other guys, no more flirting, no more late night talks with strangers. It's all down the drain of the "his and her's" sinks. 

Which is why a lot of us cringe at the sound of the word "relationship."
Could it be because of our longing desire to be free of doubt, care, and stress?
Or is it just because we're shallow bastards who want everyone to ourselves?
And that answer will never be found.

I mean, don't brides and grooms have bachelor and bachelorette parties before their weddings so they can squeeze in that tiny bit of freedom before their sentence?
So they can have the last bit of fun with a stranger before they're chained to one another.
Well that's one way to look at it.
The other way is...
...actually I don't think there is another way to look at it.

I mean we all know it's a natural reaction to back away from being tied down. Our instincts tell us to be free.
...like animals.
When you find yourself wrapped up in rope, the first thing you do is try to get out, right? 

But if that's so, why do some of us long for a relationship so badly, if it all sounds so... dreadful?

That goes all the way back to "people want what they cannot have."

When we're single it seems as if everyone around us is a couple. Every person we see at the mall is either holding hands with someone, or making kissy faces with their pooky. And yet nobody looks twice at us. And if they do, they are far from boyfriend material.
When we're taken, it seems as though every gorgeous guy in the world got together and said "lets go tempt that chick cause she has a boyfriend".
Why?
Is it our minds doing it to us, or does being taken actually attract more people?

Ding ding ding, if you picked the second choice, you're a smart cookie.
It all has to do with the energy we give off. Believe it or not, energy is something we can sense as much as the smell of a pie baking in the oven. 
When we are single, we have a hint of eagerness and maybe even desperation in our energy, which turns many people away. 
When we're taken, our energy is just uncaring and distracted, which draws more people in.
Keep in mind, we all do this subconsiously.
...I know right?
Who knew we were so complicated, and that people could actually smell it off of us like perfume?

Eau De Being Obvious.

That was me trying to make a joke.

But back to what I was saying.

There are others who spend their whole lives looking to be...tied up. People who hold out their hands and wait for the feeling of the rough rope to envelope their wrists.


 
But why does the rest of the population avoid being tied down? Is it because of all those songs and movies about heartbreak that scare us into thinking love will always end up screwing us over?
Because we meet someone else while taken and look down to see our hands tied?
Like we all know, the mind loves to wonder. Which is why "relationship" is such a scary word. Because to most people- it limits their horizons. And suddenly they see a big door that says "don't go there."
And stuff like that is just asking to be broken down.

A relationship is something everyone views differently. Good or bad, fun or stressful. It could be a walk in the park to some people, or to others, a walk on eggshells.

Either way, it is a brave endeavor. Ignoring those rumors about heartbreak and sorrow and fighting and despair and drama and simply...jumping in. 

And to me, that is one hell of an achievement.