When love is the most potent feed from which you're getting your oxygen, your drugs, you will love as hard as you can.
Until the next fix.
The next high.
And you shouldn't feel foolish for doing it.
I have written peppy delusional love songs about men I now see as demonic.
There's a reason music is revolved around the rise and fall of love.
i.e: "Love is great I wanna die in your arms"
"You broke my heart I want to smash your windshield blah blah"
You see, love is really the most easily accessed drug you can get. And it's as detrimental as it is euphoric. How?
From what I've experienced, one of the most destructive behaviors someone could portray is being dependent on love. Yes, love should come from yourself first, but some people need to numb their thoughts by finding comfort in other people's company. There's nothing wrong with seeking companionship from friends during a hard time or support from family, but when you find yourself scoping for anyone to date, you might have a problem.
Faking Love
Faking Love
Faking love and thinking it's real love is just as big of a crime to yourself as rolling around in glass and then running a marathon.
Don't get me wrong, in my younger years I faked loving some guys either because they were popular or gave me a thrill (see: high school)
But when you get older you learn quality is much better than quantity...hopefully (see: sugar babies or hoes).
Experiencing real love is like having that first drag of really good weed that confirms everything you've had before is just complete shit. Or a really good tiramisu for the non smokers.
As I got older I found there was a huge difference between those I was merely attracted to, and those I adored. And yes, there is a HUGE difference.
Adoration VS Attraction
I feel like society tells women it's not okay to be sexual beings and that if we are seeking platonic relationships, we might as well be hookers. So we fool ourselves into thinking every man we want is "the one". Because we want to kiss them so we must want a future with them right? This is how fake love comes to be in many of our lives. We're scared to be seen as shallow or "gross" for just liking the way a guy looks so we put reason behind it. We're conditioned as women to think this way when it really isn't the case.
I believe that if a sexual relationship is consensual, respectful, and communicative, there is nothing wrong with it.
If you are both seeking the same thing and are being smart about it, it shouldn't be seen as something "gross". Just like men having one night stands at bars isn't gross to most of the population (see: every guy ever)
I cannot stress safety enough though. Don't be dumb. (see: rape or teenage pregnancy) . The best part is you won't be fooling yourself, or anyone else. There, fake love is no longer a problem.
I know I felt such a sense of power when I could finally separate attraction and adoration. I used to think everyone I was attracted to was the love of my life just because I wanted them. I didn't realize that tuning out the sound of their voice meant I didn't actually like them. And forcing love is as bad as faking it just for the "high". Trust me, you'll get a much better high knowing you won't have to listen to him talk about his xbox games after.
What about Real Love?
When it came to real love, I tried to avoid doing a half assed job about it.
I didn't give attention to those I knew I wouldn't bare my soul to (see: platonic relationship) but I gave my whole heart to those I felt I connected deeply with.
Love is meant to be felt strongly. Whether you're in love or falling out of it, don't feel crazy for feeling it hard. If you want to fake love, fake it. If you want to dive in for the whole chalupa, do it! But don't lie to yourself. Be aware. From what I've learned, it's essential to know if you're in it for the cookie, the company, or the long haul. And don't feel like an idiot if it all goes wrong. At least you'll know you did the best you could, were truthful to yourself, and felt everything with all of your heart.
