I Wanna See.

As teenagers, our sense of curiosity is heightened about 80 percent.
We are constantly trying to explore, and absorb knowledge, experience. It’s just our instinct. This is the age we are given an increased amount of freedom to roam and discover. And of course, since we over indulge in everything, why would we stop ourselves with anything?
We do it with places, friends, foods, parties, you name it.
But the downside to being an adolescent; we are the most masochistic beings on the planet.
Especially when it comes to significant others.

I'm attracted to men who always seem to have this internal conflict with themselves.
Guys who are constantly thinking, drawing their eyebrows together, in a pensive state when no one is looking.
They are always having a battle inside of them, which, to me is irresistible.
And I know I’m not alone. Whether it's not knowing who they are, what they want, who they like, there is something about them that draws us to the troubled souls.
It's our giving nature, our selflessness that just takes over our being and sends our morals to the corner for time out.
There's just something about observing those who have something hidden deep inside the depths of their distressed minds that just sucks us in, in a matter of seconds.

Freakin Venus fly traps, I'm telling you.

However, 99% of the time, this could be fatal.
It’s like putting the most giving and curious person in the world, and a person who just wants to be left alone to find themselves, together in a room to play.
It’ll most likely end in explosions and chaos.

But how can we tell?
We're just trying to explore. After all, we are young and willing to find things out.
But curiosity just fogs up our lenses, until our vision is so blurred we can't even see what we're doing in front of our faces anymore.
We search and search, until we find ourselves not even looking at the person before our eyes, but seeing through their flesh and into the combat inside their bodies. And I think that is what attaches us; the fact that we get so close to their real selves that it’s too far to turn back.

And we know it's bad for us, of course we know. We're teenagers, not babies.
But like most things that are not good for us, we do them simply to acquire a hint excitement in our dreadful lives that seem to be excruciatingly dull.
The whole "journey to the middle of their souls" is what gives us the thrill. It’s like unwrapping one of those presents that have so much paper, you can never seem to finish tearing up.

Then again, it could be our masochistic selves just taking another jab at our hearts.

I mean, isn't it? Stop me if I'm rambling (too late), but as teenagers it seems as though we always find a way to screw things up for ourselves without even knowing it. The countless “this would happen to me” ‘s or the “I knew it” ‘s, it is like they never end, even though we see it coming. Somehow deep inside of us, we know that this will eventually turn out to be horrible. But like I said, we love to send our consciousness to the back of our heads to shut up so we can have some fun.

And in the end, we always just hit ourselves in the head and repeat how stupid we are, then do it all over again when we see the guy across us dazing off into the darkness of his mind.