Like A Bird.

Letting go.
Probably one of the hardest endeavors we will face in our lives. Just the thought of freeing our hands and letting whatever we are gripping so hard onto just fall, is terrifying. Not to mention something we do more than ever as teenagers. I mean how can we befriend so many people and simply let them fall out of our lives so suddenly? What surprises me is our courage to do it intentionally.

Relationships, 90% of the time at our ripe adolescence, don’t last. We all know that the one we date in high school will probably not end up being the one we marry or share the rest of our life with. Well most of the time.
So why do we take on this commitment, if we know it’ll eventually end? If we know that one day we’ll have to leave that person and maybe never speak to them again? Well because we like that idea. Humans hate the concept of something permanent. As much as we don’t like to admit it, security scares us. The thought of always being able to have something whenever we need it for the rest of our lives is something we cannot stand. Why? Well for starters it’s boring. And second, we love the spontaneous factor in life. Some more than others. Being able to wake up in the morning and not know how the day will go is something we sometimes thrive on. Who wants to wake up knowing exactly how their day will go? I mean isn’t that why the movie Groundhog’s Day was made?

Back to what I was saying.

After we go through the kisses and the cuddling and the falling asleep to each other’s voices, there comes a time where we just say “…next.” Where we decide we’ve had enough and need something new.

Then comes the hard part. Loosening the tight grip we’ve had on this one person for so long and just letting them fall into their own lives without us. The way we can actually do this just blows my mind. The way we can readjust to our lives like some animal that was thrown in a completely different environment and left to survive. And when we finally decide to shut our eyes, hold our breath, and jump into the lives we know will hurt us for a while, we go through those dreadful stages.

There’s the Numbness. The denial, the “alright, I can do this, no biggie.” This of course comes after that whole night of sobbing and binging on chocolate.
Then comes the Irritation. The whole “he’s such an idiot/why did this happen/I wish I could erase everything” phase. The point where you just cry out of frustration all the time and blow up on your friend for dropping your pencil.
In the middle of all this comes Uncertainty. “Maybe he was right. Maybe I did do something wrong. ” This is when one basically bargains on whether or not they really want to remain without this person. It’s when we begin to blame ourselves and maybe even contemplate speaking to that person again.

When we’re almost there, Depression comes in. Yep, this stage is the worst but believe me when I say it always comes. The moping, the loss of confidence and inspiration in life. The “Am I even good enough?”
And when we’ve gone through this entire journey, when we get to the finish line with our clothes shredded and our bodies weak, there comes Acceptance. Giving us all hope that it will get better and that the hole in our heart will now be patched up with something else that makes us just as happy.

These stages sound a lot like the 5 stages of grief don’t they? Well that’s because when we let someone go, when we set them free from our lives to busy someone else's, we do mourn. Because it is losing someone extremely close to you. And although it may not be forever, it is for a long while, and most of the time abrupt. To just cut off communication so quickly from someone you’ve been around for so long is astonishing. And those who have done it should give themselves a pat on the back for being so brave and letting loose from the fixation that was binding them.

And when we do feel lonely, or sad, or regretful, that the person we enjoyed spending time with the most is out of our lives for good, we must always remember that we are just doing what we are programmed to do; live freely, move on, and be happy.